I feel like I been such an inadequate mother/human being lately. Everywhere I see and read on Facebook, other blogs, or where ever has shown me that I am not even close to up to par. There are mothers out there with far more to handle than me and I can't even make a good dinner every night. I do have a full-time job and a husband who works 2 very full-time jobs so I don't really have a right to ask him to help. It's my responsibility to keep a clean house and cook meals and keep all the clothes laundered, etc... FAIL. I swear as soon as I ever DO clean up, the room is torn apart within hours. My mom was so awesome at keeping up with our messes. She had probably at least 7 people living at home for as long as I can remember, and those were the quiet times. Our dishes were always done, clothes always clean, and house just in general good order. I have two kids and can't keep up with anything. FAIL. I have no patience for anything and always just feel so unbelievably tired. FAIL.
I know that I am only catching glimpses of everyone else's situations with FB and blogs, but they sure do paint pretty pictures. I'm not even going to try and sugar coat it. People always say how crazy their lives are, but they wouldn't have it any other way. Not so here! I would change about 75% of my situation if I could. Things are just fine, but could be better. And about 99% of that 75% is just my own fault. MY laziness, MY impatience, MY need to have nice things. ... Anyway, I love my kids and I know they love me. It makes me so happy when I pick them up every day and they both run to give me hugs. That would be one of the only perks to working - experiencing their reactions when I pick them up.
Shane has been working his tail off. Leaves the house at 10:30PM and gets home in time to get maybe 6 hours of sleep. I try to keep things quiet so he can get good sleep, but my house is like a tunnel and noise travels! We leave here at 6AM so I can be to work by 7 and we're usually home around 4:45PM. I usually sit and chat with the kids' babysitter, who I just love. I'm so glad that I found her.
Anyway, enough of my pity party. I'm really good with those ;) Now time for a very few pictures of the latest happenings.
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| Took Chloe to see Beauty and the Beast in 3D. It was so fun :) |
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| Both kids were sick one day, so I got to take the day off and be with them. |
Did I mention that Shane was in an accident? He got T-boned while he was making a left turn. He was totally fine, but very sad about his truck. He loves this truck and luckily, it should be fixed this week - it's been an interesting couple of weeks trying to figure out what vehicle he would use to lay carpet, but his brother and dad were so awesome to let us borrow their trucks and trailer for a little bit. (THANK YOU)
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| The damage may not look that bad, but the truck was about $1200 away from being totaled. Most of the damage was in his axle area underneath. |
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| Chloe started Primary. She, of course, loves it! |
Some nights, my kids don't want to sleep. They just want to talk and play, even if they're just in their beds. We do have some fun times on those nights though.
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| Chloe's preschool field trip combined with the other Tues/Thurs class. I was able to take that day off from work and be a carpool mom. I hope I can do that more often!! |
The kids got their first hair cuts! I just took them to Fantastic Sams (and didn't even get to keep the clippings :( ) They both did really well though and no longer have mullets!!!
My sweet sweet little babies. They love each other so much and I am so lucky to have them both. We love them so much and know that they were meant just for us :) They make it all worth it.
Love this post Bonnie! I am with you, people out there paint a pretty good picture.... I for one am one of those moms that feel like I fail at most things. You are amazing, your kids are well behaved and just as cute as can be. You are doing something right then ;)
ReplyDeleteI feel you...if I ever paint the picture I have it all together, then forgive me. I have a filthy house 99 percent of the time. And I lose my temper all the time and hardly cook dinner...I feel accomplished when both kids are in bed and I realize I haven't lost one or no one has been injured. :) I know its easy to get down on yourself but I think you are doing awesome.
ReplyDeleteI do know that the worst thing you can do is to compare yourself to anyone else. Your situation is uniquely yours and I'm sure there are those that are envious of how well you handle everything in your life. Your happy children are all the evidence that anyone needs that you're a great mother! (Housekeeping is overrated anyway.)
ReplyDeleteLOVE the last photo, fats... and as for blogs/fb? you KNOW that people only put on a "face" there - right? that they only post the lovely aspects of their life... right? So -- you are not a failure. You are a mom ---- everyone likes to read positive aspects, and those who write blogs on a reg. basis and want the audience, know what they are doing.. so I wouldn't worry too much. I know how you feel --- been there, but some older sisterly advice, don't take it too personally. They are only telling you the good stuff. they, I am sure, do not have a life full of joy 24/7, it's just not possible. ...... and i am sure YOU will need to remind ME of this in a couple of weeks, when it's my "down time". ;).
ReplyDeleteYou should read my sister's blog. She's so real with her writing and I love her for it. Its so therapeutic to read her posts and know that someone else feels the same way you do.
ReplyDeleteP.S. You are doing better than you think. Your cute kiddos are happy and healthy and they love you... that speaks volumes... I think its saying: opposite of FAIL, my friend.
Thanks for posting!